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I have never felt so lonely in my life before. Why now? Why this time? I thought this year was supposed to be different. I thought I wasn't going to go back to my old self. But now, I've become worse. There's no one here to be with me, and there's no one to help me back up. Am I going top die alone in this darkness?

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Name: Anonymous
Age: fifteen
Orientation: Straight
Status Single
ilysm_thirteen
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Member Since: 11/16/2008

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happy Tree Friends?

Okay, so I've been watching Happy Tree Friends since the weekend. I've been hearing it around school, and decided to watch it. I have to admit, whoever made that show is a genius. If you think that the show isn't funny, it's fine. Cause people have different opinions, so I understand. But I have one question. Am I a psycho if I think that something as gruesome as this is funny? No, right? I mean, I'm not the only person who watches this. There are millions of people that's watching it with me. Even my mom thinks its funny. She thinks that they're adorable too.


school.

So, I'm about to go to school now. Since I'm a fifteen year old girl who needs to go to that hell hole. Don't get me wrong, I think school is fun at times. But come on, give me a break. I already get lectured at home, do I still need to hear the lectures my teachers are giving me? Sometimes I don't go to school because I don't feel like it. I know it's a bad habit, but there are worse possibilities. The only thing I like about school is the fact that I get to meet new people, seeing my friends, and going on field trips. I don't think I would be able to face school without them. I mean, do we really have to sit on those uncomfortable chairs for eight hours? Some of my chairs even creak at times. It's so annoying.

I have a total of six periods in my class. And some of them are fun, and some aren't, I fall asleep on those that are not. I would always wake up because my teacher would always scream at me. "Do you think this is your house? Do you think you can sleep in this clas?" God, that's like, really stupid. And when I put my feet up on another chair, there are some teachers who would say, "Please put your feet down. School is like your home. We don't do that when we're home, now do we?" Shit, I put my feet up everywhere. It's not lady-like or whatever. But I'm not the type of girl who's comfortable sitting with her legs close, or one leg on top of another. But I'm also not the type of girl who would let other people touch me. Yeah, I feel comfortable sitting with my legs open, but that's normal for me. Why? Because when I was little, I liked hanging out with guys, and still do. Of course, that led me to acting like one of them, and doing what they do. Except for dating girls.

Back to the topic. Right now, school is my sanctuary. NOT! School is still a bitch! There's no way to escape it, unless you jump the fence. Once we do, we have to book it. Stupid securities can never catch up. What do I do with my friends when I don't go to school? Well, let's just say, a lot of things. But few of these things are going on kickbacks. Kickbacks are crazy! I don't get high or anything like that. But I do get wasted a lot. But that's nothing out of the ordinary. You'll see a lot of kids on the streets drinking and getting high. I know I shouldn't follow their footsteps, but that's what high school is all about.


Monday, November 17, 2008

xanga.

Xanga is like my number one therapy. There are millions of people that can read this without knowing who I am. I like doing anonymous blogs, and just blab about my dull life. There are things that I can't say to anyone I know, and things that I have to keep to myself. But what's the point of keeping it to myself if I can write them down? Moreover, type them here. Some people don't get me, and some says that I'm too immature for my age. I'm fifteen, how do they expect me to act? I admit, sometimes I act like a seven year old kid, but that's because I'm hiding from everyone else. I'm real when it comes to friends, but I can't show them my weak side. The side that's been broken because of the thrashing that everyone's done to her. So, xanga will be like my journal/diary/whateveryoucallit. All I know is that I'll be blogging my random thoughts, confessions, problems, and other things that I can think of. Because xanga is my number one therapist.